Even knowing all of that and thinking I knew what love was, in the past few months, I have learned a little more about it. I have had to watch Ethan go through airport security knowing that once he did, our lives were going to change.I have had to wait for days to get a 15 minute phone call from him, telling me he was okay and how his week was going. I have had to write him letters and wait for a response. When he left for basic training, I was a mess. I didn't know what to do or where to go. I may not have shown it outwardly, but I was. My whole life for the past year had been planned around him. Luckily, because of growing up the way I did, I was able to pick myself up and continue on with my life. I knew we wouldn't be separated long. For the most part, I was okay, but of course I had my random moments of break down. After 8 LONG weeks I was able to watch him graduate and spend some time with him. Then, I had to return home and he moved bases to go to technical school. The months leading up to now were the hardest. I was now allowed to talk to Ethan during non-duty hours, but I wasn't allowed to come live with him. Of course we have called each other, sent numerous texts, and we Skype often, but it just wasn't the same. I was able to go visit him for a weekend, but leaving was really hard. I wanted to just stay there. But, through all of this, I have learned that part of love that is unconditional. I learned that no matter how near or far away the person you love is, you have to continually support them and show them you care. No matter how angry or grumpy you or your spouse is, you have to be forgiving. I can see why the divorce rate is so high, but for me, I made that promise to love him and stick through things no matter what. That word, divorce, just isn't in the vocabulary of our marriage. No matter how hard things have been, or how much I have missed him, my love for him has grown. I never thought it could (I didn't think there was any room left), but somehow it did. We have our fair share of fights, and I am sure that we will have plenty more. We haven't even hit our one year yet. But when those fights happen, I know that we will be able to work them out.
Ethan amazes me everyday with his strength to move forward. He has a dream and he isn't going to stop until he gets there. Although that dream may have changed slightly when he married me, he is still working hard to achieve it. He is my best friend, my husband, and now a role model. The last couple days have really showed me what I signed on for when I married this wonderful man. Looking back now, I realize that I didn't fully understand what I was saying yes to when he asked me to marry him. I knew a lot, don't get me wrong, but as far as loving him goes, I had no idea. I am so glad Heavenly Father gave me a chance to come to this earth to live and to learn, to get my heart broken and put back together. I am so glad that he gave me the ability to love and be loved. I truly have a testimony that we were all put here on this earth to love ourselves and to learn to love one another. I know that he put us on this earth to learn and grow and make it back to him with a heart full of lessons learned and trials overcome. Although, this trial, of my husband being away isn't yet over, I know that I will learn more than I already have from all of this. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me unconditionally. I am glad that Heavenly Father gave me a heart that is too big for my own good. I may not have always liked it, and it may have gotten broken countless times, but I know that I was given it for a reason. I may not know fully what that reason is yet, but I know that I am on the right path to finding it out.
"Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk."
